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Francesca’s story

#NowIKnow Francesca’s story…

I've always felt like I don't quite fit in, but I would never have considered an autism diagnosis until someone I know was diagnosed and I realised how many characteristics we shared. I thought about my whole life and the way I viewed things and realised that so many things I experienced were likely to be attributable to autism. I had very mixed emotions about this as I had largely observed very negative attitudes towards autism. There is a huge lack of understanding in society and I want to do what I can to combat negative stereotyping and improve understanding and support for autistic people. 

"When I re-examine my life, I feel sadness about what could have been better, but also wonder if some things would have been worse. My sensory issues could have been better understood rather than me being made to feel naughty or fussy or having to mask."

Awareness and understanding of autism is improving, but 30-40 years ago, I don't think very much support would have been there and I think people would have put more limits on me and not recognised the strengths that autism gives me. I have experienced this since diagnosis - people make assumptions about what you can and cannot do. Autism is a disability and I have developed so many coping strategies, but I also have many strengths to an intense degree.

The hardest thing is the masking that I have been doing. Trying to identify where I have been masking is difficult as it has become such an intrinsic part of me now, but masking is draining and ultimately harmful. Just knowing why I do things or feel things the way I do is so empowering. My special interests include shoes (I have over 140 pairs and definitely do not wear them all, but enjoy looking at them and sorting them) and people, which I think is partly why I ended up in my career field of HR.

"The hardest thing is the masking that I have been doing. Trying to identify where I have been masking is difficult as it has become such an intrinsic part of me now, but masking is draining and ultimately harmful. Just knowing why I do things or feel things the way I do is so empowering."

Every autistic person is as unique as every non-autistic person. I think most people view autism in a very stereotypical way that's probably more typically characteristic of autistic men. If people could understand more about autism in women (and girls), diagnosis and support could happen sooner, recognition of strengths could happen more and women and girls would be more likely to lead happy lives, reaching their full potential.

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Now I Know

Late diagnosis in women and non binary people.

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Now I Know is a place to share different experiences and viewpoints. Opinions expressed are those of the person sharing their story, and this does not indicate they are the views of the National Autistic Society.

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