When did you first know or start to think you were autistic? 

I always used to think I was weird. I used to go to school and cry for five hours a day, then come back home and cry even more. We tried to figure out why. We thought, ‘Maybe it’s hormonal, maybe it’s this, maybe that.’  

But my family had been so accommodating, and they just rolled with everything, that it went unnoticed for so long. We never figured it out until I was told within two hours of a counsellor meeting me, “Have you ever heard of autism?” 

After that, all these things actually added up. I was very lucky to get a private assessment through a place that specialised in women. They basically knew within five minutes of meeting me that I was autistic, and the rest of it was just formality.

I now know, ‘Oh, I’m doing this because I’m autistic’ rather than ‘I’m doing this, and I don’t know why.’ It’s also helped my family, and I’ve got all this support through my university that I wouldn’t have without a diagnosis, so I’m loving it at the minute.
 

What does being autistic mean to you? 

I feel like it is important. I wouldn’t change it at all. It allows me to see the world differently, especially because I’m going into special needs teaching at the moment, so I find it’s helping me understand everyone’s viewpoint. 

It’s got its ups and downs – if you’re sad, you get so sad, but if you’re happy, you get so happy that it’s indescribable. I feel so bad for everyone else who can’t experience that feeling when you just feel overwhelmed with joy. It’s hard to describe because it’s just how I’ve always felt.
 

What has your experience as an autistic person in the LGBTQ+ community been like? 

I think it’s been difficult because I don’t label myself as anything. It’s alexithymia, where you can’t put your feelings into words. I identified as a lesbian for a while, but then I realised that my experience of sexuality is so different from the way that other people experience it, and, therefore, I don’t feel like I can put a label on it. 

But at the same time, I think it does have so many positives because everyone’s so accepting already. I find it can be the most accepting community out there because everyone’s willing to embrace it, learn and change how they act to accommodate you. 
 

Have you faced any challenges as an autistic person in the LGBTQ+ community? 

Yeah, I find it hard because there are not many places to meet other LGBTQ+ people that don’t centre around drinking or loud, busy environments, and that’s not accessible to me because of my sensory issues. 

I think a lot of it also centres around hook-up culture, and that’s not what I’m into. I think some of that is because I’m autistic – I don’t feel like I can just go up to someone and meet them. It makes it difficult to find those long-term relationships where people are willing to go at a different pace. 

Why do you think the representation of autistic people in the LGBTQ+ community is so important? 

I think there are a lot of autistic people who are also LGBTQ+, so I think it’s so important to recognise that we’re out there. It’s alright not to know who you are. You can just be yourself. My dad loves it when I say it because I always say: "I’m just Abbie."  I like who I like, and I don’t like who I don’t like.  

I’ve noticed a lot more Pride events have sensory spaces and stuff like that. You might feel a bit weird about using them, but as soon as you actually use accommodations, it’s like, ‘Oh my God, why haven’t I done this before?’ 

It allows me to do so much more afterwards. It gives you a little bit of energy. So, once you’re aware that we’re here, then you can help accommodate and make it more accessible for autistic people who want to meet other people like them or socialise.  
 

What is one thing you would like more people to understand about autism? 

My big thing is that autism doesn’t always look like what you think. I think people just assume, ‘Oh, you can cope’, but so much goes on behind the scenes that people looking at me don’t see.  

They just assume that you’re doing amazingly, that you’re coping, and that you’ve got no support, that you’re just doing it like everyone else, but it’s not the case. 

 
What does autism acceptance mean to you? 

I think it’s about asking questions. Accepting autism is finding out, ‘Right, what can we do to accommodate you and vice versa?’ rather than just assuming how someone wants to be treated or reacts to certain things. 

It is a two-way street about accommodating each other, especially in friendships and work. I’ve found a lot of people, especially like me, are so willing to talk about it. Autism is one of my special interests now – I’m obsessed!  

I think there is a fear of upsetting someone or even of looking stupid, but if people just asked, then it would be so much easier. I think people would get along so much better.