Video transcript

What made you want to seek a diagnosis? 

I think the reason that I wanted a diagnosis was because I was really not doing well at the time. I was quite ill, and I felt like nothing was helping me. 

And I was told that: “You know if you get a diagnosis then it might help you to understand yourself a bit better.” I was 15 at the time, so I kind of just went off that, to be honest.
 

How did you get a referral?

Because I was being treated for an eating disorder at the time, I actually got a referral through CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services), and the waiting list wasn’t that long. In fact, I don’t actually remember waiting at all, but I think it’s because I was so ill at the time.

Because none of the treatment that I was being given for the eating disorder really matched, I guess, the root cause of my disorder. You know, a lot of the work is around body image, whereas that didn’t really apply to me.

What do you remember doing as part of the assessment?

I just remember the assessment being really stressful. I think I could tell that there was kind of a lot going on behind the scenes. Obviously, I was a child, so I kind of didn’t do much except turn up on the day and do the tests they made me do.

In terms of the actual assessment, I remember there being a screen, like a one-way screen, so people could see through, but I couldn’t see them. I also found that quite stressful. 

I think some of the tasks were really hard, like the storytelling one and like having to use your imagination. I kind of didn’t get the point of them. And it all felt very strange.  

And I almost felt like the assessors were speaking to me like I was a child, but I was 15, and it felt very strange.

How did you feel when you were told the result, and given an autism diagnosis? 

When I was given the result of the assessment, I was kind of disappointed because I went into it kind of thinking I wasn’t autistic, and I kind of tried not to get a diagnosis. You know, I actually read up about it beforehand.  
 

What impact has having a diagnosis had on your life?

I think for me the diagnosis actually changed my life. I really don’t know where I’d be now if I didn’t have it because, before that, I just did not understand myself.

And I think the diagnosis really helped me to reconcile with, I guess, the guilt I felt for being a ‘bad person’ or perceiving myself to be a ‘bad person’. So, I think it really helped in that respect. And actually, I think without it, I wouldn’t have recovered from my eating disorder. So I think, in a way, it kind of saved my life, and I’m really grateful that I got it.

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